


Lying To You

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Series: Non-Linear Stories of Wanderer [3]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dubcon Cuddling, Dubcon Kissing, Forehead Kisses, Gen, Kissing, Lies, Love Confessions, Lying To You - Keaton Henson (Song), Minor Character Death, Other, Sharing a Bed, Tourette's Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 08:51:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16594745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: Deacon and Wanderer are notorious liars, but once the truth comes out, it's out.





	Lying To You

 

 _I_   _can see in your eyes that you mean it_  
_I can feel in your arms that it's true_  
_And though I just heard myself say it,_  
_Baby, I'm lying to you_  
_Baby, I'm lying to you_  
  
Wanderer says it for the first time on a rainy day at the castle. Everyone's either asleep or keeping watch outside the walls, and they're standing just outside their rooms. It's cold, and they hold themself as they shake, both from temperature and cries. He's never really been able to tell when Wanderer is lying, which is something that's always had him on edge, but he knows they're telling the truth when they rasp the words in between sobs.  
  
He says it back of course, but as soon as the words tumble out his mouth, they both know it's not true. They look at him with those slanted, green eyes (the eyes that have gotten them into so much trouble with pre-war ghouls before), and scoff.  
  
"Liar."  
  
_All of these years you've been lonely,_  
_And knowing not what you should do_  
_And though you are right, I've been looking as well_  
_Babe, I'm not looking for you_  
_Babe, I'm not looking for you_  
  
Deacon knows just how much they miss Nate, can see it in the way they tense their shoulders every time they listen to that damned holotape. They've been missing him for months, and he uses that as än excuse over and over again, telling himself that they don't really want him of all people, that they just like chasing after what they can't have.  
  
He's there for them, though, sits next to them and listens to baby babbling and adult rambling every night. He kisses back wyen they press their lips against him desperately, and he almost feels something. But then they pull apart and they both know that the truth is nevet as sweet as this.  
  
_I'm just as damn disappointed as you,_  
_Only I just do better to hide it_  
_And the one thing that keeps me from falling for you,_  
_Is I'm truly alone and I like it_  
_I'm truly alone and I like it_  
  
"God damnit, just tell me why! Give me a reason, so I can call you an asshole and leave you alone! Give me a reason to get over you!"  
  
Deacon stares at them throughout their whole reverie, listens and hangs onto every word like it's the last one he'll ever hear. He keeps his face neutral, doesn't even smirk when they tic angry words at him, chirping and barely able to finish a sentence. Inside, though, there's a maelstrom of emotions that threaten to burst out of his fraying seams. He swallows thickly.  
  
"I like being alone." He says with a non-commital shrug, then turns around and walks away, but he can't help the tear that rolls down his cheek and drips to the ground with a deafening noise.  
  
_As we lie in bed, I feel lonely_  
_Though we're young, I feel eighty years old_  
_And your arms around me are keeping me warm_  
_But baby, I'm still feeling cold_  
_Baby, I'm still feeling cold_  
  
Wanderer comes to his doorway one night, silent and dull-eyed. He lets them in, lets them wrap their arms around his shorter frame and allows them to find solace in his heat. They don't do anything more than that that night, but they do sleep together, wrapped in each other's arms. Deacon wakes up first, and for a moment he thinks thinks he's awoken from a bad dream, that she's back and holding him in their soft arms. But then the truth rears its ugly head and he feels just as guilty as before.  
  
He pretends to be asleep when they eventually wake; allowing them to get out of bed without feeling embarrassed or ashamed. They walk over to the door, then pause, look back at him and smile sadly.  
  
"You didn't deserve what happened to you. I hope you know that."  
  
_And, girl, you must know you are lovely_  
_You're kind and you're beautiful, too_  
_And I feel in some way I do love you_  
_But babe, I'm not in love with you_  
_But babe, I'm not in love with you_  
  
Sometimes, when he takes the time to examine himself and his feelings, he gets scared of just how much realises he cares for them. And they say it again one day, almost randomly as they sit on the edge of the castle walls, dangling their feet over the edge, above the Ricks below, the crashing waves loud against them.  
  
"I love you, you know."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
_It may seem strange that I still stay with you,_  
_If it's true you're not really the one_  
_And why don't I just keep on looking for her?_  
_Cause I found her, but now she is gone_  
_Cause I found her, but now she is gone_  
_Cause I found her, but now she is gone_  
_Cause once I found her, but now she is gone_  
  
He misses her everyday, truly. Misses the way she's smile, all open mouth and scrunched up nose. The way she'd laugh, like a gentle breeze in the summer. He misses how she looked, like one of those old pin-ups, with the dress and red lipstick. But most of all, he misses her mind- full of ideas and fantasies of what they would do when 'one däy' became 'today.' But one night, he wakes up, eyes blinking open and refusing to shut again. So he climbs out of bed and begins walking aimlessly, until he finds himself in Wanderer's doorway. He crawls into bed with them, wraps his arms around their taller frame, presses a gentle kiss to the top of their head.  
  
"I'm sorry.' He whispers, genuine and pleading.  
  
"For what?' They chuckle into his chest, bringing one hand to tangle into the front of his shirt while the other wraps around his waist.  
  
"For lying to you."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
A beat of silence passes, then-  
  
"I'm in love with you."  
  
"I'm in love with you, too."  
  
And for once, it sounds like the truth.


End file.
